I believe every woman has a life story to share. We can all learn from each other’s experiences.
Her Story is collection of life stories written by women just like and unlike you and me.
I begin this journey by saying: I am a woman, just a common everyday woman, like so many out there. I am not a psychologist, psychiatrist, or mental therapist for that matter. I am here to tell a story about my life and how I overcame all the hurt, pain, resentment, anger and unforgiveness. My HOPE is that as I put my life in writing, for all the world to see, it might help and give HOPE to someone else who also might be going through a similar situation.
I was sexually abused at a fairly young age. This occurred from about age 7 till about age 12. I can’t really recall the ages that well, just remember being extremely young when it started and almost in puberty when it ended. I never received any therapy and the (incident) was never spoken of again. Being Hispanic those things are just not talked about. They are taboo and they are just brushed under the rug where no one can see it and it is forgotten (out of sight, out of mind). Having had no therapy, I did not have a good perspective on love and what it should be. This only led me to make bad choices in life believing they were good ones.
I left home at the age of 15 and went to live with my then boyfriend (I will call him “Raul”), who was 22 at the time. By the age of 16 I had a daughter and was being physically abused. My life was not good. The abuse became a daily ritual, even while I was pregnant. There just seamed to be no boundaries or respect. By the age of 17, I had had enough. “No one was ever going lay a hand on me again”. I told “Raul” I was leaving him because I could not take it anymore. He remained quiet and said nothing. That night I went to work (as I had done many other nights in the past) and when I returned home from work the next morning “Raul” was gone. He had disappeared and taken my 11 month old daughter with him. He had kidnapped my daughter and vanished somewhere into Mexico with her. I was devastated, to say the least.
I cannot even begin to explain the pain in my heart at that time. All the words in the dictionary that exist for pain just don’t quite express it. I turned to my family for support, but it was not there. So, I was left to deal with all of the pain on my own and being so young, I was way in over my head. As if to add insult to injury, “Raul’s” best friend “Mark” lured me to his house, locked the door behind me as I walked in and proceeded to rape me. My life had now gone totally dark and without any emotional support around me, I felt all alone. I would never speak of this incident until years later.
Although I never talked much about these things, they were the things that defined me, that shaped the way I looked at life as a whole. From there on out I would only make poor decisions for my life. I proceeded to be very promiscuous, giving no thought or even caring about other ‘s feelings. By the age of 24 I had two other children. I was in a relationship that I really never wanted and it was not healthy relationship for me. It was just so that I would not feel alone. I saw no HOPE at all in my life and even through all this I never turned to drugs or alcohol for comfort, looking back on it now, there was something good in that. In the midst of my mud, God found me. I gave my life to Christ in HOPE of a change. It was a difficult road from there on out and it was not easy. Upon my divorce, my family and kids turned their backs on me and gave me no support (not a total surprise). I had really hoped for more because, after all, at that time they where the ones telling me to get out of the bad relationship.
However, God had other plans and did not need any help for what He was about to do in my life. I met my now husband who gave me support. We were homeless together sleeping in my car and moving from place to place. We married in a small ceremony with only the people we had met at church around us as support. The road was not easy nor did it all happen over night, but I am proud to say it all served a purpose and I survived.
Now, my husband and I are pastors. We are also the owners of our own cleaning company. God has given us many great and wonderful friends that we proudly call “Our Family”. I swam threw a down hill river of filth and came out clean on the other side.
God redeemed me!
There is HOPE!!
Thank you Leticia for opening your heart and sharing your story with other women. You are an inspiration!